


Walking In My Shoes

by Lothiriel84



Category: MarsCorp (Podcast)
Genre: Asexuality, Autism, Dysfunctional Family, Explicit Language, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Miscarriage, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 09:29:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11688819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lothiriel84/pseuds/Lothiriel84
Summary: You'll stumble in my footstepsKeep the same appointments I keptIf you try walking in my shoes





	Walking In My Shoes

Shareholders, but family gatherings were the worst, she all but screamed, locking herself into the bathroom. Her pale reflection stared back at her from the mirror as she splashed her face with cold water, then proceeded to carefully reapply her makeup.

There were days when she wished the Knights would just come out and say it – how they blamed her for failing to produce an heir worthy of carrying on their name, and wished that their precious son had never decided to marry her in the first place.

As if it was her exclusive fault that their only child had been born defective, and there was nothing she could do to fix him, no matter how hard she tried. And Shareholders, she had tried, even more so after she had been strongly advised against trying to get pregnant again.

Even now, as she unscrewed the cap of her Ultra-Ade branded eyeliner, she could still relive every single moment of her agony; spasms that started low in her abdomen, the nauseating smell of blood, a toddler screaming and covering his ears with his hands. They had been trying for another child ever since her husband had started to notice that there was something wrong with their firstborn, but that didn’t mean she had actually wanted it in the first place.

The truth was, she had never wanted to be a mother. Never wanted to be a wife either, but her family had been very firm that, as a True Blue, it was her duty to marry into one of the most prominent families of their colour, and give them the offspring that they needed to carry on their line. She thanked the Shareholders that her husband was all too busy with running the Medical Department to pay too much attention to her; she loathed the entire process required to have a human baby – how gross it felt to be joined with a man, never mind carrying the product of their union inside her womb for forty-one endless weeks, and then having to push it out with an unbearable amount of effort, and pain.

When the child had been put in her arms for the first time, she had felt nothing, except relief. Her duty had been fulfilled, or so she had thought at the time; she could finally go back to focussing her attention on her job in the Science Department, hopefully prevent another bloody intern from being promoted over her head. It was just her luck that what looked like a perfectly healthy baby had grown into a toddler that couldn’t seem to be able to hold eye contact, or smile back when prompted to do so. Even now, she thought she could hear David’s screams through the closed door, could easily picture him rocking to and fro under the disapproving gaze of his self-important grandparents.

“Fuck,” she muttered to herself, just as she snapped her purse closed; she took a deep breath, then rushed back to the living room.


End file.
